Hey Choc, I just about cried when I read the start of this thread. Maybe cuz I have been out of touch here for a while and don't remember all of the details of yor sitch, but also cuz so many details sounded like my WAW walking back home.
Then, the I read the rest of the thread. You are in good hands with NOP, and he won't steer you wrong. he will be the first to tell you, at this point , that you must do what you think is best for YOU. The glimmer of hope you saw at the start of this thread might be real, but without NC as an everday reality, healing is a long way off. An NC letter is one thing, but my WAW ended up pawning it off as my concoction. No contact is more than a letter, and many people are not so formal as to give a letter any more credence than an ATM receipt.
I am hopeful for you and your M, but I am also happy to see that you realize that you are much more than your M. You are an asset to every person here, and have brought many smiles to my face when I was crying.
BTW, my wife couldn't read any painful stuff either, and after every cheatin' part of every cheatin' movie now, she looks at me and tells me how sorry she is for what she did, and how happy she is that she made the "right" decision.
Don't give up until you feel it in your gut, despite what NOP may say. He wil give you an out as soon as you have done all of the things that genuine and decent self respecting people should do. Some people are slow, and stupid, and self-absorbed, and may need just another minute or two to reach clarity. Give it, but only if you are able, and only if it does not cost you your self respect.
I wish you luck, and send you all of the strength that I found here.
