And so it begins...

[Dom R]

I went back and read some of your very first posts, Lost:

I went to bed and read the first 60 pages of DB again. I can see that the salvation for our marriage is right there in black and white, but also know that she will not read it.

DBing isnt about, "If I could only get my spouse to read DB and change, then our marriage would be great!"

DBing is about, "If I change myself, then one way or another, the relationship between my spouse, and myself, will change".

[it may not change exactly the way you want it. but it "takes two to tango". The book goes into more detail about this]




Please think carefully about what I've said;
Based on what you have written, in this thread, and in your prior threads... 90% of the issues you have in your marriage, seem to stem from yourself, and your lack of control over yourself.

Your alchoholism is just one area in which you have not controlled yourself in the past.
You have decided to accept responsability, and excert control over yourself in that area. That's great!

Long term, you will see some amount of change in attitude from your wife, if you stick to it. Judging by others' stories in similar situations, it will take months for her to possibly believe you are serious about it.

What will make her believe it more readily, is if you also control yourself in other areas. Such as what I have suggested to you, above.