My other thread locked up and I will try and figure out how to link it.
Nothing much new here. I have found that if I go with the flow and not speak up my exdh is great. When I start to speak my mind or push him in any way he backs off.
I have a stalker. I think its OW, but dh is trying to play it off like it could be anyone.
I have been getting number blocked texts pretty much telling me that exdh is cheating on me and still talking with her. They only come when he is not here with me and last night I was getting calls with nobody else on the other line. The texts were somewhat threatning...telling me I better not tell him about them or I will regret it. They also said that she will not back off of either of us.
When I tell dh about these he gets immediately defensive. He doesn't know that I know there has been somewhat recent contact with OW. He thinks I am accusing him of something or knowing who it could be or that it could quite possibly be a 'he' and someone from my past trying to cause trouble. There was nobody in my life during our separation that would care. I have a great feeling that its OW. Dh's last text to me was saying he was sick of me assuming this has something to do with him.
Why is dh acting like this? Shouldn't he be supporting me? These are very upsetting and hurtful.
Please everyone your thoughts!!! Thanks.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
This is my other thread.. I am having an issue trying to put it in my sig...
Thanks all.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Hi, If those messages are somewhat threatening, I would consider filing a police report. If you do that, they may consider pursuing the culprit of the calls if they are threatening enough. For more info, read this http://www.privacyrights.org/fs/fs2a-cellcalls.htm
There is also a service that you can pay for that will apparently unblock any call. The person on the other won't know that you are seeing their number. I would definitely research this more before giving them any money though! http://www.harassingcalls.com/
Seems suspicious that they are happening when your H is not home! It sounds likes someone who knows what is going on so why wouldn't it be OW or someone she knows? I don't understand why your H can't see that.
But seriously, if they are too threatening, it doesn't cost anything to report them to the police. The OW in my sitch can be pretty nasty, I would not hesitate one second to file a report!
I guess the messages don't bother me as much as dh's reaction. He is hell bent on me not assuming these have nothing to do with him. So as it stands, he is angry with me now because I am getting upset with these messages.
I am going to look into those sites. I called my cel provider and they said to forward the messages to my email so I can have documentation if I ever needed it.
Like I said, I just wish dh would have some understanding of how hurtful these are rather than trying so hard to defend himself.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I got another text from the stalker. All it said was "BFF". I thought it was someones initals at first and then remembered the lingo...Best Friends Forever.
I know that OW said that my dh was her best friend on one of the texts I read awhile back...it is so pointing to her but I just need more proof. I talked to a cop friend of mine yesterday and he said that usually these people get frustrated and reveal more and more about themselves and then I can nail her. If i find its OW, I will slap a RO on her to stay away from me and my baby.
Not too much word from dh...its easier for him to run away and stick his head in the sand rather than face what is happening.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I hope your cop friend is right. I guess you can't answer them if they're blocked? I would be tempted to send back a message like "BFF? I don't think so" just to see what kind of response you got.
I can't believe your H is angry with you about this. You sure have done nothing wrong! Someone is doing wrong to you! I wonder why he's downplaying it so much? If he's still seeing OW, but thinks you don't know, that could be the reason. Perhaps he's trying to keep in under wraps.
But if it is the OW, she sounds like she's getting desperate. I'm sure she's pushing him as well. She may be digging her own grave. You just need to keep on DBing! (This seems to be what is happening in my sitch, too.)
[/quote]I guess the messages don't bother me as much as dh's reaction. He is hell bent on me not assuming these have nothing to do with him. [quote]
SO2,
These texts are not about him but about her and her insecurities. That is if it is her texting( which there is a good chance of that).
But i do wonder if there is still contact from him to her. If you don't see proof of that then let it go with him, as it only serves to keep their R alive.
IF he didn't have contact and that is why she is texting you and you get solid proof of that then maybe he will begin to see her as vindictive and not the person he thought she was.
Just like JDV said keep DBing and acting as if (but don't be a doormat just because you want him back) and she will dig her own grave.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
The proof will come probably this weekend when his bill comes out. I have been watching his numbers of outside texts and they haven't moved much in the past few weeks. She is the only one that doesn't have the same cel service as him.
There are so many opportunities for OW to run into exdh. School, community events, or just in passing.
She came to my daughters volleyball game last Saturday night. Its high school! She has a 3 and 5 year old! You should have seen her face when he walked in. He walked right by her and didn't even say a word to her.
She is a stalker! Why can't he see that?
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Don't worry about her she is like gum on the bottom of your shoe,annoying but you can scrape it off and it's no longer an issue.
Don't make this about her. She is not the cause for you and Xh's issues she is just the effect (band-aid). The work is up to you and XH, the more you bring her into this the longer she stays in the picture. When i was getting phone calls from who-ever(don't think it was her but someone she put up to it) I told H but, then thought about it and stopped because it just kept it alive and it needed to die . Taht way it's about him and his issues only and he has to work on those himself.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
