Horrible, HOPEFUL Vulnerability

[the girl]

Hi Sara,
Thanks for the encouragement. I last wrote right before our post session dealing with conflict. You were right on the money; it was just what we needed to learn.
Though we have not started a conflict resolution about our sex life, we will soon.

I was having some really crazy, vulnerable feelings coming from frustrating situations. Things are better. We actually had sex, and it was great (for me at least). The amazing thing is that we continue to have lots of deep discussions about this past year, the affair and his journey through finding out what matters to him most.

I would add that I am careful to talk with him about my pain in a hopeful way. He has made the hard trek home and I have to tell him how much he has hurt me. But I assure him that I will heal. This makes our life hopeful.

For example, we were arguing on the way to our post session (marriage therapy). We drove right past the OWs neighborhood; the very place he went to be with her. I was overcome with hot rage. I wanted to stop the car and jump out and run away. I stayed, we went to the session and ended up having a good night. Later, we dialogued about what I felt when we drove past her house. He said he felt ashamed, sad and regretful. I told him how mad I had been, but that I am healing. We talk, I know he hears my plight, then I let it go.

We are also talking about how to redeem the holiday season ahead. Last year was awful. So this year I am taking pains to plan really fun stuff.

I mentioned that I would like to get new wedding rings and get remarried. He said that he wanted to wear the old one because of all the history and memories it holds.

He is still not saying ILY. I am not either. But our friendship is great and our home is harmonious. It is only a matter of time, I hope, before true romance blooms.

Is my story ready to go to the success stories page? I certainly feel like a winner.
The Girl