I've been in and out of your sitch, but I'd be very worried about her using the account like that. Even if she is putting money back in, it may be time for you to either move your primary account to a different account or have her get her own account.
That just looks like a disaster in the making. Plus it has to be next to impossible for you to track these things.
I've been in and out of your sitch, but I'd be very worried about her using the account like that. Even if she is putting money back in, it may be time for you to either move your primary account to a different account or have her get her own account. That just looks like a disaster in the making. Plus it has to be next to impossible for you to track these things.
She puts in every penny she spends. I only use it because I am waiting on my new check card to come in the mail. I have my own primary acct and I transfer money into the joint acct because I dont have a card for my acct. Once I get the card all of my money will be out of that acct. Why does this look like a disaster?? Currenly I only have about $200 in there...Should I transfer that to my acct and do what she is doing, put the money in as I spend it??
I have a question for ya. I know that the DBing rules say "never to give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel". But I just cant take it anymore, I mean I never want to give up but I feel like im fighting a losing battle. I mean she asked me if I would sign once she files and I told her to file away. Well she still hasnt yet. She tells me that we are not getting back together, she has moved on and that the divorce is going to happen. I realize that the D is happening, but I am struggling with moving on. I know that I must make myself happy before I make anyone else happy, and I think I am slowly doing that. This weekend was great, I went out friday night, went tailgating all day saturday and did some stuff around the house sunday. I am just having a really hard time coming to glimps that the woman I love doesnt love me and I really dont know where to start to begin all over again. I know that 180's help but it just seems like im stuck.
Gotcha now.. just wanted to make sure it wasn't your primary account. Just curious, but why does she still use the joint account? Is she getting her own account as well? My W wasn't too bad, but she did buy some gifts (they were small) and cards for her BF. I took the cards and checkbook shortly thereafter. Just keep looking out for #1.. You.
She has another acct but she said that she is still waiting on her check card to come, which was like a month ago. I am looking out me and not her.
I have a question for ya. I know that the DBing rules say "never to give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel". But I just cant take it anymore, I mean I never want to give up but I feel like im fighting a losing battle. I mean she asked me if I would sign once she files and I told her to file away. Well she still hasnt yet. She tells me that we are not getting back together, she has moved on and that the divorce is going to happen. I realize that the D is happening, but I am struggling with moving on. I know that I must make myself happy before I make anyone else happy, and I think I am slowly doing that. This weekend was great, I went out friday night, went tailgating all day saturday and did some stuff around the house sunday. I am just having a really hard time coming to glimps that the woman I love doesnt love me and I really dont know where to start to begin all over again. I know that 180's help but it just seems like im stuck. I forgot to mentation that I took off my ring....
I agree, it is defiantly a rollercoaster. I am taking it one day at a time, though some days are better than others. Really the only time I feel bad is when I’m at home by myself. We got the apartment together, she still has things there. I did however pack up all of the pictures, poems and anything that reminded me of her. I recently took my ring off and took our picture out of my wallet. I try to get family and friends to come over and hang out but they really don’t want to. I mean only live about 20 minutes from where I used to live and all of my family and friends still live there. Now that I am paying for everything myself I really don’t have the extra cash to fill up my gas tank every 4-5 days, so that is why I really don’t drive to see them. I really only think about her and us when I don’t have anything on my mind. I mean I think about her when I read my books, esp. DR. Her family is employed by the same company but he is a sales rep and is out in the field, well I saw him twice last week here at the office. We talked for a little while, every time I see him he asks me how I am and that he is sorry that is daughter is doing this. He wishes that he can do something to change her mind, so naturally I hear and think of her. Yes I have a copy of the rules at work on my cube and another copy at home. I read them everyday. I like that quote “Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear”, I am going to write that on the bottom of the copy of the Rules.
I like to think that is a good sign she hasn’t filed yet but I think the only reason she hasn’t is because she hasn’t been able to get into town. The last time we spoke she said that she isn’t changing her mind and we are getting a D. She is making herself happy again, I thought about saying sleeping with other men makes you happy but I didn’t. I just said that was the most important thing. I was really nice to her..
Understand... how about going for a walk? Is there a bus line you can take to see the family?
Why won't they come see you? You need to surround yourself with people who support you.. that is very important.
Think about that for a minute.. .if it was sooooo important for her to file, which would she do? Go see OM, or file for D?
She's confused like all the WAS's.. she will sit on the fence and see where her "new" life takes her. It's now a waiting game. Keep being patient and I'm sure it will pay dividends for you.
Understand... how about going for a walk? Is there a bus line you can take to see the family?
Why won't they come see you? You need to surround yourself with people who support you.. that is very important.
Think about that for a minute.. .if it was sooooo important for her to file, which would she do? Go see OM, or file for D?
She's confused like all the WAS's.. she will sit on the fence and see where her "new" life takes her. It's now a waiting game. Keep being patient and I'm sure it will pay dividends for you.
Where I live there really isnt a place to go walk plus if there was, I would think of her. There really isnt a bus route either.. I really dont know why my family wont come to see me, I mean I talk to my cousins (who are like my brothers) everyday asking them if they want to hang out, sometimes they do and most of the time they dont. I really dont know why anyone else from my family wont see me. I mean I know that i need to be surrounded by possitive people but the people in my life arent so positive. Maybe you're right about the D and filing. Maybe its more important to see the OM than to file or maybe she just dont have the money to file. That's what I am going to do is wait. Being patient is really hard but I know that it may pay off.
My wife texted me tonight, she wants to know how I am doing, I said that I was good. I thought about not texting her back and staying dark but maybe she just wanted someone to talk to or maybe she really wanted to know how I am doing...any thoughts on this??
