Good for you on not getting roped into the rollercoaster ride. When you can be thinking one thing in response to her abrasiveness ("F...you, I was just being nice"), and let it go by not replying in kind, it seems that once they have a little space to consider, they have regrets.
Going from abrasive, to happy & chatty, & over to gloomy in a matter of days appears to be a recurring theme for the WAS. By you staying on happy & cheerful, you kinda know she'll be back there soon, so why bother to get caught up in the other moods. Saves a lot of energy that you make better use of in keeping the house in order.
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I like to keep the house tidy as a number one priority because it feels better that way . This has been one of my bigger efforts as I was a very untidy person so its something I can feel good about every day as an achievement.
Read this from you on Donna's thread. This is one of my achievements also, although it's reversed, as I've been compulsive about having a tidy house.
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if W can show that she is making the sort of changes that need to be made ( much like a lot of us here have done ) then I will be open to the prospect of a reconciliation. In saying that I cant see much evidence of that yet
It's good to keep in mind that the WAS, for the most part, aren't actively looking towards making changes in themselves or any sort of deep introspection, so the likelihood of seeing evidence of it is not great. Maybe it's when they hit bottom & stay there for a while that some awareness kicks in.
Yes, I think you're right, it's more time & patience.
Better to be a spectator, although that's not all that easy either.
