I also made the mistake of bringing up some money that she owed me. She hasn't set up a bank account, so to pay bills she deposits money into my (once our) checking account and I write out the checks. She had two bills do last week that I paid without her having deposited the money. While I had the money to cover them, it left me without much until this Friday. I felt that I had to bring it up and she got pretty defensive about it.
While my W is mostly paying for all of her own things, she's having a horrible time keeping track of it all... She'll blow $200 at Target one evening, then pay her phone bill late, or not at all.
I don't think it is necessary to 'show her' the changes you have made - it will come across in your conversations and if/when you spend time together again. It's a good sign that she is calling a couple of times - If she is coming to you, then be positive and interesting when she contacts you. She'll do it again if it's a good experience.
