And calling her "sweetie" and sending "warm hugs" is in my opinion TOTALLY inappropriate and he might as well be saying "Let's get it on baby."
Well actually, this is how he would normally greet a friend in trouble. I was just mad because he WASN'T sending such greetings in his emails to me. (His emails from his current trip have been better, I must say.)
I think I see my H pretty clearly as he is these days. He doesn't pursue other women. But he's vulnerable in the right set of circumstances: an "innocent" encounter that unexpectedly leads to more intimate conversation, a woman stroking his ego, hitting at a time when H is very depressed and that dopamine seems irresistible. I do have to give him credit for turning this around himself without him knowing I knew. And let me be clear, I'm sure he never DID anything inappropriate, it's just that he let that vague "what if?" creep into his subconscious.
I think the most proactive thing I need to do is push him to deal with his depression more effectively. He does nothing beyond taking his medication, when there are so many other things, with nutrition and lifestyle, that he could be doing.
Trust me, I wouldn't be fighting for him if he wasn't really a pretty great guy. I'm too cynical for that, after all this time on the boards!
