OMG! Not sure how I would have handled that. One or two people commiserating at a time, I can handle. But a CROWD? Yes. Kill her. ;0)
Something struck me when you mentioned your prayers.
In AlAnon, they talk a lot about being able to let go and let God. Each member is encouraged to turn their problems over to a Higher Power than themselves, as they understand Them. I am more spiritual than religious, but even turning the problem over to the support group (venting here) can count. Any time the topic comes up, it is the hardest thing anyone struggles with.
Someone said that they prayed all the time, but for what they wanted, not what God wanted. Their own will, not God's will...
I just thought that if you were religious, that might help. Instead of praying for H to come home, you can pray that His will be done, and the strength (like you said) to accept that.
I had always recited the Lord's prayer by rote; now I actually listen to the words. The Serenity prayer also helps keep it in focus:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change... to change the things I can... And the wisdom to know the difference...
And the only thing we can control and change is ourselves.
I'm sure you've known / read all of this already, but I have to be reminded so often--I hope it might help you in some small way.
