Welcome to the hotel California

[Dr LOve]

[quote=husband]I think your list and your decision are both good ideas. If she wants something done, let her ask. There's no sense going out of your way to please her when you get no accolades for it. Of course, if these are things that the two of you have decided to share in the past, it could bring on some rough waters as it might appear that you're not pulling your own weight. Just something to keep in mind.

Thank you MCC,

I see you know where I am coming from. No we never "agreed" to share these tasks. We both came into this relation ship combining two house holds. I always did these before we got married. But I did them then because they needed to be done. I now finding myself doing them only to here her say “oh what a good boy, how can I ever leave you".
As for your sushi thing I can see me doing the same thing. I think part of it though is also our fault for ALWAYS DOING IT.
I had a SIL from my previous marriage that ALWAYS did something to piss me off. Then she would apologize. At first this was ok. People slip some times. But it became a habit that she figured it was ok to piss me off as long as she apologized. The Apologies after a while became worthless. I think this is where being caring and being a caregiver come into play. Caring is when you stop by once in a while and gets the sushi because this loving husband should and would do. When you become a caregiver you do it for them. It’s your job to please your W.
I know it may sound selfish but we have people always coming around for donations here at work. It is so easy to give money and think you did your part. But I got no satisfaction just giving money. So I stopped and I started volunteering at the abuse women’s shelter. I did the yard work and helped with repairs around the place. I was helping them but I was also enjoying personal satisfaction. I worked up a good sweat and if I felt tired I knew I did a good job. It is like going to the gym. You work on your body for you.

Husband