Thanks again LWB! You're quite a strong one, too! I like this quote from Ghandi, “Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” That's us ... and so many others here ... INDOMITABLE WILL.
Something happened earlier today that I can't get out of my mind. The entire family was in the family room this morning. D was playing with one of our cats. I walked up and watched, smiling and laughing at them. I looked over at my H and caught him watching me. He looked away at that point. A little while later he left to go do some errands and I asked him for a kiss before he left. He said I didn't think I wanted them anymore. I told him I wanted all of them. He sort of smiled at that. I did get my kiss.
Now I just can't forget how he was looking at me. It's the first time I've seen him looking at me like that for a really long time. I sure would give anything to know what he was thinking. I can't say he had any emotion on his face. I know I look at him all the time when he's not looking, even when he's sleeping. There are many emotions going through me at those moments, from love to anger, despair, fear or longing. Mostly it's love.
So which of those emotions was going through him at that point? I think I can eliminate anger. He wasn't in an angry mood. If anything he was melancholy -- probably because of the conversation I had with him last night. So maybe I have him thinking about losing me. Or maybe he's trying to decide what he wants to do. Or maybe it was nothing. Lord, I hate being so analytical.
