HELP

[Dom R]

Sorry you're going through this, Amanda.
If it's any consolation... this sort of thing seems to happen frequently, on, or through, the 10th year of marriage. Forget the "7 year itch", it seems like 10 is the major number these days.

Definately read one of the books, divorce busting or divorce rescue(?).

One thing that may help, is for you to realise that you are in a major, long term problem area now. Looking for "help fast", is the last thing you need to do. IF you are in "fast" mode, then you may fall into trying to "Fix things quick". More often than not, seems like that makes things worse. ALso, when we are in "fix things quick" mode, it's becuase we build up an expectation in ourselves that it CAN be "Fixed quick". I think this is what hurts ourselves a lot, too.
[because failing to meet that expectation, is draining, and depressing]

You may help yourself, by trying to come to peace with accepting that you may have to work on things between you, for many MONTHS, to see any kind of positive resolution in sight.
dont forget to breathe, and take care of yourself.

PS: it doesnt matter that he "says there is no-one else". Contrary to what movies may lead you to believe... almost no-one admits there is someone else, when their spouse asks.
He may or may not have someone else.
Him saying "there's no one else", means nothing, however.


but ANYWAY... If you want more constructive, specific advice... I suggest that you post more specifics about how your marriage, and your relationship, has been for the past few years.

With 3 children, and one just born, a wild off-the-cuff guess could be that it was very child-centric?