HELP - DEVASTATED

[Jen_Jam]

Hey Amanda I'm in England too - just wanted to say hello first

OK - first step, like it says in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is DON'T PANIC! Take a deep breath, get a glass of water, calm right down. It's no good acting out of panic, it gets you nowhere (as you have discovered).

Get the book "The Divorce Remedy". I know it sounds like an advert but it's a great book. Read that cover to cover. It will give you all the steps you need but it may take a while to sink in - it took me several readings and a lot of practice to really get it.

Until you get the book, it looks here the best thing you can do is completely back off from your H. Leave him to have his separation. If you keep telling him he's wrong to walk off the more he will insist he is right. The easiest way to stop arguing with someone is to agree with them. I am assuming he still sees the children? So if you do get to see him be very light, don't talk much to him, don't ask him any questions.

While he;s off look after yourself. Gather your good friends about you (although I wouldn't recommend telling too many people of the sitch if you can avoid it), treat yourself as you would a good friend. I lik walks and bubble baths, so would treat myself to those.

And I have one question - what do you think led to him leaving? By that I mean what do you think your contribution to it may have been. Bear in mind I'm not looking to play the blame game here, just to identify what things you could change, ie things that are in your power to change.

OK - better go, don't want to overwhelm you on the first post! Keep coming here, it's a little goldmine and I can safely say I think without the book and this site I would be divorced right now.