To listen – to actively listen and show that I care about what I’m hearing even if I don’t agree with it. If I don't listen, he'll stop talking.
To give space – he is not leaving me or cheating on me just because he wants to go and have a few drinks with friends and I am not invited.
To no be clingy – to give affection an attention is one thing, to NEED his company to make me feel better is not right.
To understand “my” schedule isn’t everyone else’s – if I need him to do something it does not mean that he is going to do it in the same time frame I would have done it in
To allow change and to change – at work I am in constant change, in a constant state of learning, my relationship should be like that too. Always learning and changing in new ways to make it better.
To let things go – does it really matter that he let the kids have desert even though they didn’t finish all their dinner? Does it really matter that he can’t seem to remember to throw the empty tissue box away?
Everything isn’t about me – if he’s upset, it doesn’t have to be because I did or didn’t do something and he’s mad. Even when he’s short with me, it doesn’t have to be about me. He’ll let me know when he has a problem with me, other than that I shouldn’t assume I’m at blame.
I should have a R and a life – they are not the same thing, a R is part of having a life, not life itself
Happiness comes from me – I am responsible for my happiness, not my XH, not my kids, not my family or friends. I am and it’s up to me to keep myself happy.
A happier me = a happier R – when I am happy and in a good mood it spreads to those around me, including XH. Therefore if I am happier, my XH will be happier, my R will be happier, my life will be happier. It’s a circle that I control.
It’s okay to have a bad day – Bad days happen. Bad things happen. All I can do is deal with them as they come the best I can.
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
