NikkiB #22 (almost separated)

[mkultra]

Hi Nikki, I wanted to swing by and say "Hi". Although I am sad you are here, I am grateful for all of your inspirational journaling. You are a very positive, moving forward type gal. Thanks for sharing.

You are truly in Limbo Land aren't you? Part of me feels like you are lucky that you get to spend time with your H, as if pretending to be married is still something like being married. Many more couples do this than we realize! For generations.

But sometimes I do feel happy to have physical separation and the ability to be dark to save me from the pain of my H's affair. However, I would prefer to have a faithful H at home even if we were "separated" in the home. There is so much more hope when couples are under one roof. It is like a commitment to the home and family to get through the rough patch. Stay well.

I do want to see you all. I am getting the nerve up to do new things and meet new people. Being married was like a safety cloak for me. I never went out or did anything. My H was my conduit to the outside world in a weird way. I feel like I woke up after ten years, walked outside, and it is a whole new weird world of texting, cell phones, online dating, hoochies, promiscuity, and gangsters.

But also a lot of good restaraunts and new bands!