I appreciate it. Yeah, the WAS all seem to speak from the same playbook. They say and do some of the same things, and come to some of the same ways of thinking. It is so scary and remarkable at the same time.
It's just that I am still astonished that my W could ever stoop to this. We talked about marriage and divorce at great lengths before we decided to marry. We felt out each others' personalities very carefully during our dating period. Our thoughts and values were so very much in sync, and we both stood fast in our faith and our beliefs. We knew where each of us stood.
But now to hear my W speak -- especially about Marriage, Divorce and God's grace -- you'd think she had a brain transplant. Her hostility towards me is so pervasive, springing forth all of a sudden. She trys to tell me that with me out of her life she is so much more at peace, but I tell her I would never know it given how she acts. She now rationalizes Divorce and how it is better for children than what would result if she had stayed with me. She twists the purpose of God's grace to excuse what she would have at one time said was sinful and wrong.
This is not the person I married. Or so I thought.
If I could be wrong about W, in that I would have thought she would have been the last person to ever go down this road, then maybe I have been wrong about so much more. So naturally I am now questioning everything I ever thought about her. I am questioning whether I ever really knew her, as I thought I had at one time. Perhaps she's been presenting a facade with me -- and herself -- all these many years.
I have to ask these questions now. I may never know the real answers, but it is only natural to ponder them given what has happened.
