Here's a quote from Soupman from another thread. This was so good I thought it should be shared with all.
If you go back and read the success stories here on the board you'll find they all contain the following elements...
-- successful DBers cherish their spouse and show a great deal of compassion. THey almost always keep their pain to themselves... they "act as if" things are normal in their life. -- successful DBers are outstanding listeners. They let their spouse do 80% of the talking when there is dialog. When they speak they speak 'lovingly' with candor and honesty. -- successful DBers validate their spouse's feelings even when they disagree with them. -- successful DBers have clarity about their life and their goals. -- successful DBers make a commitment to be in this for the long-term. They know that this will take time. So they become the master of patience. They make time their friend. -- successful DBers also make sure they focus on themselves in every way.
