Yes you are partially correct. Her big complaint was that I had deferred a great deal of responsibility to her since she was the primary breadwinner and highly organized. So really step one for me was accepting responsibility and being the family patriarch. I view that primarily as a mental and attitude change. That happened back in the later winter. For me I was amazed how much better I felt, I had avoided the roll of family patriarch for a long time. I finally realized that's one reason I was so unhappy.
Step two as I see it was to get a great job that I was excited about, was a good fit for me and provided the pay that would allow me to be financially responsible. I make about 10% more with this new job which is great. She still makes 2x of me but this is where attitude comes into play. I'm not looking to her paycheck to solve problems or provide financially for us. I expect my paycheck to do that.
Now the big challenge for me, once again I am ready to get going here, to get to work doing as the family patriarch. Of course she's not there yet. Argh!!!
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
