King of Pain, 2

[GainingStrength]

NCB - I just have to chip in because your sitch is almost identical to mine (see below), except I'm just a little older than you. We even had our separations on the exact same date.

Also, both my W and the OM are apparently in MLC, both see their R as their last best chance for eternal bliss. My W sees this as a chance to trade her older H in for a newer model (OM is 39). Then she won't have to worry about slowdown and/or illness. OM has never been married and probably sees W as his last good chance. Ironically, W had a tubal ligation after our second child. She says she's going to get it reversed and have children with OM... Crazy, huh?

My W also insists that the A and the OM didn't break up our marriage, we did (this must be in their handbook also, along with ILYBNILWY, and "I've had opportunities for affairs before...."). Of course this is total bullsh*t. The euphoria provided by the OP gives a spouse every incentive to end the M and none to save it.

Regarding the holidays, my W lined up a mediator right away, which I highly recommend in place of dueling L's who will cause more dissent while draining both of you dry. Anyway, early on in the process, we agreed on custody during the holidays. As is widely accepted, one spouse gets the kids on Thanksgiving, the other on Christmas. The next year, it is reversed. The upshot is no way should your W get the kids on both holidays. Don't let her get away with that.

Anyway, your W sounds every bit as insane as mine. That must be prerequisite for obtaining the Marriage Wrecking Handbook.

I know exactly what you're going through. Hang in there.

LL