Kman.... Thanks so much! Yeah, I think it's fishy. I am trying to wait until I get more information before I say too much more about this, but I am definitely suspicious.
The only contact I made with H today was to email him about what I'd found out about the mediation. He sent me an email and numerous texts. He is mostly off the obvious pressuring, but onto acting really nice and loving... trying to win me over so I'll sign this for him I'm sure.
It turns out we might be able to do a phone conciliation with a mediator after I've gotten the legal info on the QCD matter. Later on, we could schedule some mediation in person for other issues. It takes a few weeks to get that scheduled, but sounds like it's an exceptional service. They provide 2 mediators and they are highly trained. I was very impressed by the gal I spoke with on the phone today. I don't expect this will happen though. As soon as this current matter is resolved, I think H will not have the interest... and that's fine. I really don't care at this point.
Today H sent me an email stating (again) that this property he is looking to purchase has been appraised at $50k over what he'd be purchasing it for. And again how I will be released from any liability at all by signing the QCD so I can't get screwed in any way. What a good thing this all is. And again that he'd use the equity to start paying off debts... and this time he said "starting with your credit cards if you wish". Ha. Sorry, but still not believing anything he says. It's too bad he cannot be trusted. We'll see what this lawyer says next week.
If I can use this whole sitch to my advantage and just get out of this M without more financial damage, I just may do it. I just don't know yet. Need more information. He is so desperate for this to happen that he seems very willing to negotiate... he even said he was. I feel like he will try to rush me after my appointment next week. My brain doesn't work that fast. I'll need a little time to think. There's such a big part of me that just wants to tell him to forget it. If he is "needing" a place of his own to live in at this point... a year after he left... then we just need to D already. My clock is ticking. Of course he says we could use this as a rental later. Ohhhh.... "We" could? Well, then, why do I need to sign a quit claim?
H was again concerned today that I hadn't given him an answer on what type of lawyer I'm seeing. He was texting me asking if this was a divorce L, and then for their name. I wasn't home so I was able to tell him I couldn't remember their name and that they'd just been recommended for this matter. He later said his "financial lady" had called him to say she might be able to have some paperwork ready before my appointment Wednesday (he'd previously said they probably wouldn't), and that she also told him that I was smart to see an attorney and like I said she would expect him to do the same. He went on to say he feels good about my choice, that I always am smarter than him, and thanked me. Sounds like she might've been trying to ease his anxiety over me seeing a L.
Hope that provided some entertainment anyway.
Maybe I just have a bad attitude and am overly pessimistic right now, but I find myself rolling my eyes and shaking my head a lot over all this. Just feel pretty apathetic. But don't get me wrong, I cried yesterday when I couldn't be there for him. I'd listened to him crying to me in his voicemails, and he begged me to talk to him. I just can't trust him. He has been so manipulative.
For him to try to convince me, himself, or anyone else, that he has helped me out so much just doesn't do anything for me. It's so sad. If I can do anything for him, I think it is to let him fall and not enable him. It's time to truly save myself.
Thanks for listening.
Me: 37 M: 14 yrs Separated 10/06; Filed for D 12/07 Life is good.
