Hello I am kidsaver...I was a regular on this site beginning in July of 2006 for about 10 months...my seperation lasted 11 months..the D was final in June of 2007...Well guess what my X approached me about reconciliation a few weeks ago...never really gave up and continued to Dbust all though not with the same intensity...but I did do my best to maintain a good relationship with the X and be her friend through it all especially for the kids sake...things are going wonderfully and we still have some work to do....we are trying to be smart about it....but she wants to come home and we are talking about re-marriage down the road. We are both happy....learned alot about what went wrong in our marriage and she has become the wonderful person I married 14 years ago again....Oh I guess I could elaborate alot but I remember all the frustration and despair that was bantered about on this site. So just thought I would tell everyone its not always over. I only see a couple of screen names I remember and I guess I might move over to the Divorce but not Done forum.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
that is great, kidsaver! I wish you much luck. and yeah, your story gives me pause, based on my own current situation. we are heading toward divorce and I've finally pulled back on the friendship front. self preservation, I just can't any more. but who knows, maybe down the road I can. stories like yours make me realize that even divorce isn't always the end of a relationship, as much as marriage isn't a guarantee of one for life.
good luck!
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
kidsaver it's good to hear from you and to hear your news! Thanks for coming back around, your insights and advice were always spot on and extremely helpful.
Looking forward to hearing more from you!
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
thanks..I always vowed I would come back to this site someday...things are going incredibly well..I am going to take some time and reflect on the process I will post some comments here in hopes that it will be helpful to someone
Hey KS, if you are keeping a thread on another board can you post a link to it? I'd definitely like to follow along and get some of your insights as well. There's hope in our situation and the challenges seem even bigger now since there appears to be hope I want to forge ahead full steam which you know isn't the best thing.
Thanks again for swinging back in on us!
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
I will post...and start a new thread...just have not had time to sit down and write the things I want to say..so much too say...I am headed to lunch with my X shortly...but I will leave you with this....it really started to turn around when I let go of it all...all the anger, bitterness, sadness and just decided to move on but be her friend...I let go of any expectation of ever being with her again but knew I loved her unconditionally...when she saw that in me...she came a running
I will post...and start a new thread...just have not had time to sit down and write the things I want to say..so much too say...I am headed to lunch with my X shortly...but I will leave you with this....it really started to turn around when I let go of it all...all the anger, bitterness, sadness and just decided to move on but be her friend...I let go of any expectation of ever being with her again but knew I loved her unconditionally...when she saw that in me...she came a running
KS
That's where I am trying to get to right now. Moving forward not necessarily "on". I'm doing it for my health, mental and physical. I have good days and bad which I expected and thankfully the last week has been great. Interestingly she started to communicate more and more comfortable talking with me. But as soon as I started to show signs of interest back she backed off. Man what a dance this is! But I know we'll get there.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
I truly had moved on....I no longer expected to ever be in a romantic relationship with her...I didn't doubt she would regret it one day but I finally no longer wanted any dissappointment...I was dating...dating alot...had very attractive stable women coming out of the woodwork. I had just come to the conclusion it was over...and my goal was to be her friend....and one helluva of a co-parent with her. What I didn't know was she had been wanting to approach me about it for some time...I think she saw me slipping away...However, I did know if she did approach me the answer would be yes...I knew I still loved her deeply...but I had come to the conclusion I could love someone else deeply..However, all the women I dated....they just could not measure up...nothing wrong at all with these women...just did not have that knock you in the gut feeling with any of them...I just figured eventually someone would come along.
