Thanks BBA, ISLH, and FH. I will try to keep up with FIL. Former W says he is doing well but the initial stage of handling death is denial. But when I talked to him he did recognize that he needed to keep an eye on his emotions and deal with them. He is not going to make any major decisions for at least several months, maybe longer.
Former W and I are getting along nicely; she is really down so I try to be upbeat. Hard to do with the lawyers involved. She even thanked me for being so friendly and supportive. It would be nice if we could build on that, but that is not in the cards right now. Her focus is to close on the paperwork and make this legal. The main stuff is settled, only minor points remain. I think the lawyers are what is slowing it up - they like to jockey about and after all they want the best for their clients. They know emotions will fade, but the D agreements will not.
I feel real good. No anger at all. And best of all I feel good about ME for a change. My next hurdle is to go back to GAL and start meeting people - especially the opposite sex. But I will not date until this is signed and sealed.
This BB has been a lifesaver: both the unconditional support and pep talks and the 2x4s. Although the 2x4s sometimes hurt, I look back on them with deep gratitude. Sometimes when a person is emotional and angry and full of fear, a cold bucket of water is needed to straighten out the course.
I also learned so much about being a man, what drives a man, how to better interact with both men and women. I learned I am not a failure.
My best gift is learning how to listen without reaction or immediate defensive posturing. To listen and not judge - to share another's frame and see the world from another's viewpoint. Hard, hard, hard. That I am still working on - long way to go but getting there.
I also learned about Strength and Honor here. Words I am doing my best to live.
