The sex BB and I used to have, was good at one time.
For a long time It hasn't been that good so when people speak of emotional/spiritual connection, transcendent, or any of those other descriptive words, I have a difficult time sorting out or categorizing how I feel. I don’t think I can say what sex feels like and say it fits any of those descriptive words.
All I know if feels good when it is right and sort of like artificial sweetener when it isn't good.
(not that I'm even sure what spiritual means) Me either right now.
It was painful for cac to be around me so he closed himself off emotionally, and it was difficult for me to have sex because being shut out was painful for me. (It still is.) That sounds like me and BB. I hope the shut out feelings are becoming shorter for both of you.
I rarely needed a physical release because often times I simply did not feel sexual. I am the opposite. I have a difficult time suppressing my drive sometimes. It helps to have standards, conditions, morals, etc. so I don't act on my feelings and drive.
cac and I have sort of joked that I'm "like a guy" because I don't *need* to cuddle after sex. I watched a program series called, "My Messy Bedroom" http://www.joseyvogels.com/ when I had "Dish Network" service.
The show, (lose interpretation) "sex from a single woman's POV" had some women talk about wanting the guy to leave her alone after sex. A few women wanted the guy to go home with in the hour. So, are you like a guy, or is not wanting to cuddle more common than some people imagine?
The male partners interviewed thought they had to cuddle or they wouldn’t be invited back to the woman’s place. . In some way the woman thought cuddling was what the guy also wanted.
When one woman stated her preference, one guy said, “Do you mean I don’t have to?” They were both happy to hear it was not a requirement.
I like to cuddle. If I don’t do it I feel like I am being selfish.
