Someday I hope this will be easier, I just don't know how to practice getting better unless I am speaking to him. A vicious circle.
It will get easier with practice. Do you and H ever email? Maybe if you feel like you need to say something to him that's touchy (after giving yourself some time, thinking about it, etc etc) you could email him. Like someone else mentioned, that way you can read it over and over. Or post it here before you send it: I've done that. Giving yourself a bit of time can help----much harder to stick your foot in it that way.
Originally Posted By: Pudmuddle snafu
mostly because he think if we are NOT talking that things must be peachy.
Okay, how about this? You're working on things *for you* truly being peachy---your own life, interests, friends, activities, happiness. H thinks, great, she's okay with everything, she's off my case. You keep things peachy for you. Eventually H thinks, huh, she's peachy. I want to be peachy. I want us to be peachy. And he makes a move back toward you. *That's* the time to prepare for instead of worrying about H going along like things are fine.
If you're peachy and he thinks everything's great, you don't care, because you're peachy. If eventually you think, hey, I'm peachy and H is a drag, I'm done with this dance, fine. But in the meantime, cultivate your own peachiness.
Originally Posted By: Pudmuddle snafu
I want him to talk about us before he takes any more drastic measures, but I am not counting on that, only wishing.
Good, you can't do anything about it. Peachy peachy peachy.
Originally Posted By: Pudmuddle snafu
The first motivation for me is to go watch my S, he has asked several times if I would go and watch him.
Good enough reason right there: kids first.
Originally Posted By: Pudmuddle snafu
But secondly it would be a 180 for me. And I am not expecting any points or anything from my H by doing that.
