I call that emotional distancing stuff a self-cure for 'engulfment.' When I was M, this happened to my x and I all the time. It's the pursuer/avoider mode, and it doesn't really have anything to do with the emotional connection stuff I was talking about.
Everyone needs their space, certainly. But once connection is made, or re-established, you have to work really hard on not getting 'clingy' and taking connection too far. I think that is where HD people (because they've been in starvation mode) tend to shoot themselves in the foot... and then the LD person feels 'overwhelmed' or 'engulfed,' and boom, you're off to the races.
Being LD sucks. I can't think of anything that SHOULD be easier than to have and enjoy sex. But God, when you have to actually make yourself get there... that is just so... fcked up.
I mean, even with exercise, it at least becomes a habit that results in measurable, pleasing benefits. With sex, if that other person doesn't get on the same page with you, at least eventually... ewh. Gross. For the HD OR the LD.
RJ, I think you are in a better place than you realize. Drama does increase desire, but drama also kills emotional connection. I think that's where you think that the emotional distance is what turns you on, and keeps you HD. But if you look at self-described HDs, that's really the last thing they want... drama. They are looking for passion. I think a lot of LDs confuse the two, because the two emotions often feel very similar.
So if you feel the pull of 'dull and boring,' and your sex drive is going with it, I'd say you need to find your passion. That is what I was kind of telling IC and GGB... passion feeds happiness. And when you feel happy, you feel rested, and you want to be in the company of others. Sex is enjoyable.
When you are passionless, there never seems to be enough time in the day, people/places/things drain you, and everything feels like a chore. Sounds like depression, doesn't it?
Try it, sweety. And if you seriously think about it for even five minutes, you'd realize just how flippin' hard it actually is... to know what your passion is... and go DO it.
I know you know all this. Sorry if I sound like I'm lecturing.
