"Actually I think I'm LESS in the R than he is at the moment.."
Yes, well, there is the distance he is comfortable with. You aren't maintaining the degree of closeness he wants, so he finally has to do some of that. This is VERY good. For one thing, it will allow you to get to a more objective place and figure out what YOU want because you are out of hypervigilant/hypermanagement/hyper-bending-over-backwards mode. For another thing, he has space to figure out what he wants and to recognize something other than a feeling of being crowded.
I'd say it's detachment -- you and your actions and choices aren't all about H right now. You aren't trying to control/fix him. You see what you are getting from him. It is not sufficient. You are changing your life to make it work better for you, leaving him to his own stuff, and owning your own choices/future.
