NikkiB #22 (almost separated)

[NikB]

Thanks for checking in!

f21
It's always wonderful when I can make someone smile, glad to hear that. Thank you!! I saw you posted an update, will drop by soon.

jak
Good points... and yep, definitely staying detached. The H comments were minor observations, not obsessions or even things I actively LOOKED for, which was nice.

OT
True. Actually I think I'm LESS in the R than he is at the moment.. which I didn't think was possible until I got there.

I guess there's a nagging feeling that I should have talked to him because of two things - first the decision I've come to that if he wants a D I won't buy him out. I sort of feel like I'm re-doing a room in "his" house without asking/discussing it. But it's not like it was a decorated or even nice room to begin with, in fact it's a room we planned to tear out and replace eventually, so I know I shouldn't worry about it.

And second, one of our problems all along has been avoidance of talking about the tough stuff. So the (small) part of me that is still "in" the R is thinking it's continuing a bad pattern. Then again... thinking out loud... it's only a bad pattern if you're actively building or working on an R, so maybe time to shift my thought process on that.

Something struck me today. We never had our "followup" talk from that last brief R talk we had. I was on pins and needles on Halloween thinking I wasn't ready to hear what he had to say, he wasn't ready to talk about it either, and it just never came up again. In the past though I'd have been obsessing about it until we talked. This time I haven't had the desire to bring it up, at all. I don't even CARE if we have that talk, and I'm surprised I honestly hadn't thought about it until today. There's nothing more I care to hear about our M from his perspective at the moment. Is that weird? Is that conflict avoidance? Or is that finally detached???