Help me thru this sitch

[Pudmuddle]

OH Puddle, puddle, puddle. Thank you. I know, I know, I know. Someday I hope this will be easier, I just don't know how to practice getting better unless I am speaking to him. A vicious circle.

I know there is way too much stuff in there still, I just can't get my brain around that yet, mostly because he think if we are NOT talking that things must be peachy. I know, I know, patience Pudmuddle. I KNOW, lol.

Good advice from the child psychologist. At the moment, I am not going to guess what my H thinks of the OW. I don't really care. I want him to talk about us before he takes any more drastic measures, but I am not counting on that, only wishing. I do expect more bombs to come my way, but for now we have been status quo.

The first motivation for me is to go watch my S, he has asked several times if I would go and watch him. But secondly it would be a 180 for me. And I am not expecting any points or anything from my H by doing that. I can't have expectations of him right now or I will surely be disappointed. Just watch for the small positive signs.