It's a choice to act loving towards our spouse. It's a choice to work on meeting each other's needs. It's our choice to connect on a physical level. And it's our choice to be open to receiving those things in return.
So, in the case of our spouses who don't feel those "in love" feelings, they may not realize that it is a choice to take steps towards getting those feelings back again... towards making a connection. They feel those things in the A, because the OP is on their best behavior.
So, yes, it's a choice to work at it.
Married 9 years Kids 5 and 6 Bomb 2006 H back and forth for a year M now back on track
