Thanks for the encouragement Brit. I actually read through most of your thread yesterday, so I know where you're coming from. It's hard because I've always been the one that she's turned to and she's been the one for me as well. I have a few close friends but none that give me the kind of advice that I need. They all want me to move on and be done with it. I'm thinking that I would like to find a counselor, but I'm not sure how to find one that's solutions based. I do find it encouraging that she feels the need to call me or email me every once in a while. It's hard for me to recognize and rejoice in the small accomplishments, but I know that I need to.
You'll find that most friends don't understand - Mine all tell me to kick the b***h to the curb and move on. As far as finding a counselor - I think there is something on the DB site about finding one, so you might want to have a poke around. I find that folks here are a reasonable substitute when it comes to wanting experience based advice on dealing with your W. We're not experts by any means, but we're going through the same stuff.
Don't be surprised if when you back off, she contacts you more. They like to do things on their terms and in their own time, even if it doesn't make any sense to you.
You're going to have to get used to the fact that she right now is emotionally and mentally incapable of being the person to support you, but you need to be prepared to support her. The instant you put any of your problems or stress onto her, you'll be back to square one with the whole thing.
