Yes, I did catch the part about his dad, which was one of the reasons I said that. Chances are his dad would have passed at exactly the same time, fighting or not, unless he really stopped treatment and just sat there. His dad's mistake wasn't so much that he stopped fighting, but that he closed himself off from his loved ones. Tumor stage and tumor type is what determines outcome, and who treats you, and how. IC has a highly treatable tumor, so the odds are in his favor, if he's in the hands of an experienced center. And modern medicine has advanced significantly. The thing to learn from his dad's experience is to do this together, as a family, all the way, and it sounds like you are doing exactly that. \:\)

Southern Girl,

You're exactly right. IC said himself that his dad was probably not going to make it regardless. We've talked about this quite a bit and I gather that IC's dad shut himself off from IC. They were very close and I think what bothers IC is that during his dad's time of need, he chose to isolate himself from IC. He acts now like that was ok, but I can tell how much it hurts him that things went how they did.

I doubt that his dad knew that he was hurting IC and if he only knew that 20 some odd years later that his son is still holding onto that pain, I'm sure he would have done things differently.

I see alot of this in IC as well. It's hard for him to let us, his family, see him struggling with pain - not just physical, but emotional as well. I'm not saying that it's going to come down to a situation like his dad but IF it did...I feel IC does not want to isolate himself from us like his dad did to him. It's just a lot of work for him because his natural inclinations are to sheild his loved ones from hurt & pain. It's like a balancing act for him...he doesn't want to isolate himself away from us, but yet doesn't want to expose us to HIS hurt and pains. kwim?

From what I understand, you were already growing closer ... this just makes it even more poignant. I was impressed with the palpable warmth and love between you two from the start. Yes, it does get easier. And it's ok to cry, and be afraid, and then know neither of you are in this alone. And you have us, too .... your invisible cheering squad, in case you happen to be sad at the same time. I'll even look for my misplaced drawl. ;\)

This is one heck of a cheering squad \:\) I find it really odd that a group of people that don't even know IC can be cheering him on and yet his own family doesn't even call to see how he is doing {Miss IC pissed off, but not going down that path...right now ;\) }

I'll let IC know that you might look for that drawl, I'm sure it'll bring a smile to his face