Thanks guys for the well wishes.

I am in a cafe in berlin - just had a yummy lunch and am now deciding on dessert and coffee... need I say more? ;\)

THis course is something I have wanted to do for years. As I was walking from my apartment (will have 2 ladies as roommates but I was the first there.)

I thought: wow, I never would have done this if I were together with H! I would not have left alone so long .

So, this is one of the many gifts of our seperation. THanks H!!!!!

As to if I am running away.
I think I am giving myself space to move forward and be ready for whateve it is that life throws my way. WCW< I have asked myself that as well- if I am running. Then I think for one second of another winter in the same city as H, hearing about his life, the bars, restaurants etc... being in that city - it is just to hard for me to stay neutral and detachd. So yeah, maybe I am running a bit or at least cheating but it feels good . Staying in town makes my stomach knot!


The more I think about ti the more I realize how H has to convince himself o f how happ he is right there with his life just like that. My leaving really is threatening in that sense. I am a reminder that ther is more to life than hs controlled closed world he has created. Anyway....

I am now eating apple struedel with vanilla sauce!!! life is good! \:D

brava

Me: 36
He: 34
no kids
Married: 2000
He left: July 05