I know the dilemma of being self-employed. Once you get the bug... there just really is no going back. Unless you do contract work.
My take on this began a long time ago, when I came up with my 'happiness theory.' It is similar to a hierarchy of needs thing, with my own Corri twist.
I have two "problems" due to my self-employment. The first is the real problem that it contributes to my social isolation which isn't helped by the fact that I live in a small rural town with pretty much zero activities for single people. The second problem is the psychological sense I get that time is exactly equal to money. In theory, I could work at my business 16 hrs./day, 7 days a week. I liked the idea that BF once posted that people are always juggling Wealth, Health and Relationships and have a hard time keeping balanced. I would add another category that would be something like Fun/Creativity/Spirituality/PersonalFulfillment. The end of my marriage totally changed the relative weights of the balls I am juggling and I am still doing a semi-cr8ppy job trying to figure out how to get them all up in the air again.
Anyway, thank you for all your advice about being patient. I didn't mean to give the impression that I am going to jump into anything. I was only being semi-serious about being serious. My monkey is actually kind of amused that dating men on the internet is not wholly unlike being a heroine in a Regency Romance having a season at Bath. It's encouraging to me that GP might actually think that I would be a reasonable economic partner given my current state of affairs. GP left a bride who he loved at the altar when he was in his early 20s because she started crying because they couldn't afford the more expensive wedding invitations. There is no way in heck he is going to rush me into anything. - lol . OTOH- because I am so time=money oriented and differentiated (ha-ha), I've told GP straight-up the same thing I'd tell any other man which is "You want me for a sexual partner because I have nice hair, I'm in good shape, dress attractively etc.. That is natural because you are a man and therefore slave to your visual cortex and/or tactile perception of firm flesh etc. sexually. However, all the things I do to make/keep myself looking that way cost me money and/or time which equals money I could be making and money= security and/or fun. Therefore, I expect security and/or fun from you to the extent that I am compelled to spend time/money in this manner." The funny thing is that we are exceedingly fond of each other even though we talk along such non-romantic lines on occasion. Perhaps, we shall come to an understanding, perhaps not. In either case, I expect we shall remain on good terms.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
