I am sorry you are hurting. You know if she brings up another R talk then by all means ask her anything you want to if it helps you get past this hurt.
I don't blame you one bit for getting a seperation agreement. She sounds like she is screwing with you. She CAN'T be there for the holiday because of work. But doesn't want to let you enjoy it because she can't have it either. That's what it sounds like to me. A vengeful angry woman.
If having her on the account causes you stress then do what you have to do for your own sanity.
