I don't want to step out of bounds with Choc and his situation. As he said, he asked for three simple things. Doing those things required just a bit of genuine humility, possibly publicly, on the part of his wife.
Writing the "no contact" letter would likely have been scorned and made fun of at her then current (and once again I hear) workplace, by her previous paramour.
Getting a full panel STD test would involve a clinic or doctor's office.
Having someone else have watch over your activities via the detailed billing would have left her feeling exposed.
All three conditions would have brought some immediate level of trust back into the relationship. All three conditions required that she set aside a little bit of her image and pride. That is where the watch breaks.
I will attest on Choc's behalf, that his wife definitely has issues with pride and image. Those are both issues that got her into the mess to begin with. If she can't begin to lay them down at some minor level, then there is little hope for the relationship, unless Choc wants to become a doormat (unacceptable). Also, the chances that she will cheat again are very high, especially with financial issues looming.
If you cheat and never face the reasons why you allowed yourself into such a vulnerable position, then you are likely to repeat the action.
For what it is worth to the rest of the forum, in my opinion, Choc has earned his way out of the marriage. He has done the work on himself, and he is a changed man. The potential for survival of the marriage will manifest itself once the financial dust settles. The financial issues are also a matter of image, and of security, which is generally very important to a woman.
Whether the marriage survives or not, largely depends on Choc's wife's willingness to do the work on herself that needs to be done, and in haste. Someone asked what Choc had done for the marriage. The answer is simple; All that can be done other than emasculating himself. I certainly would strongly disagree with anyone that suggest that he do so in order to keep his entitled wife.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
