FWIW - I don't know all the legalities, but if you want to go out of state, maybe you should go now before he files? It's my understanding that once the legal proceedings start, he can make you stay in the state - at least, that's true in many parts of the country. If you really want to go be with family maybe you need to take a "vacation" and not come back? Get some legal advice on this. Also - if you want to move to another state, which state has better divorce laws for you? How long would you need to be in the other state before you could file there? These are all practical things you need to find out.
BTW - I fully expect that if you packed up the kids and left, your H would likely come to his senses eventually. Don't take my emphasis on practicalities to mean I don't think there's hope - just don't want to see you get stuck.
