our un-relationship

[Dom R]

very cool, that he wants to talk

TRAP AVOIDANCE:
If you focus on a list of very specific behaviours... then if he's "hooked on a feeling", he may well just find a different set of behaviours to give him that dating "high" feeling.

So, if you really want to make sure you are on the same page... I would suggest that you need to first communicate, and then get agreement to, certain PRINCIPLES, rather than very specific behaviours.

Certainly, i think it's worth spelling out a few crucial behaviours. Just dont think you're free and clear if he agrees to not do those specific things any more.

With someone who doesnt admit that they are dating another person, even though they very clearly are... that's going to be quite challenging
Been there, failed at that


PS:

He keeps complaining that women "interpret" him wrong, that they "assume" too much is there. It's something he has asked me to help him figure out in the past year or so. To me, this is a prime example of it.

I think that's just a cop-out to avoid responsability. I don tthink he truely wants your "help" in that area. (at least, not at the moment. he may have wanted it in the past)

there is NO WAY that any sane person is going to believe, that he doesnt know that saying "I love you", ..... well, you know.