Neph--any time. I have to catch up on all my friends this weekend on here. If you ever need to call or email, please do--real live voices are sometimes needed.



The latest email exchange between H and I. I copied my L on my response.

-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "cb"

> hey, i've been thinking alot about thanksgiving. i would like to take the
> kids to my brothers. i was hoping i could pick them up after school on
> wednesday and bring them back on friday, i know it is your weekend. i
> really don't get to have any time with them out and around my family.
> thanksgiving has always been higher on my list than christmas. you can
> host christmas at the house. this way dad doesn't have to drive and the
> kids can be home. i'm sure dad has to work. anyway, someone mentioned
> that you were thinking about going to your aunts, i really think the kids
> would rather be at uncle scott's. so that's what i've was thinking, let
> me know what you think. i hope this is agreeable. also,i know the kids
> have off on friday, do you have to work? do you have coverage? let me
> know.


I have been thinking a lot about it, as well. I remember back to last
Thanksgiving, when I had to put on the happy face only 2 weeks after you told me
that you were no longer in love with me. How I was told not to cry or make a
big scene. And how I was reluctant to make love to you when you were still so
ambiguous about what you wanted to do (and unknowingly to me, also still being
physical and intimate with the neighbor), but you said it would "help." While I
wore the wedding band that you couldn't bring yourself to wear any longer.

I am not trying to be vindictive here. I am trying to forge a new life and
traditions for myself and my kids. I do not want to go through another holiday
trying to put on a happy face because no one wants to be uncomfortable, which is
why I made my decision not to go to Scott's. I have lost more than just you in
this mess. I have loss my sense of extended family, as well: while everyone
recognizes that it "sucks" but no one wants to get involved or talk about it.
Be with your family. You can always have a non-holiday gathering of your family on
one of your weekends with the children if you'd like them there.

So, while I am dealing with that loss, don't ask me to also give up my time
with my children. Not this year of firsts. I have planned on them going with
me as I give thanks for what I have left in my life that is precious to me. It
will not interfere with your Wed or Fri night dinners with them; they just need
to be home between 7 and 7:30.

As far as Christmas goes, I thought they could have dinner and exchange gifts
with you on Christmas Eve. They need to go to bed in their own home that
evening, waking up to their own tree and stockings. I haven't even contemplated
who else would be in attendence that day. You do have them the weekend of New
Year's Eve.

I have this Friday taken care of. You can get them for dinner at 4:30.

If you would like, you can pick the kids up right after work again on the 16th
for your weekend; I won't be home. I'll make sure that they are packed.