Morning guys. \:D

No no, I didn't think it was a bad talk. \:\) It wasn't a fight, it wasn't nasty or name-calling. We both listened to each other. I managed to say things in the right way this time, instead of blubbering out "You're a moronic @$$!" It was just...tiring... lol

I agree. There were a lot of productive things. Wish I could take a nap...yikes...emotional exhaustion... \:\)

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he still REALLY wants to "be with you", even though he wont put certain labels on it


I agree. His actions in the middle of the night, the wanting to comfort, etc., all indicate this.

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He stopped claiming he "wasnt doing anything wrong", to the cheater's last resort reply of, "that's snooping!"


I didn't even notice that. I hate to admit it...but...if I hadn't snooped over the years, there is a lot I wouldn't know about. I also used to never snoop. It started after xow. Not that I'm blaming him for my behavior...just that it certainly happens when he starts acting suspiciously. I can go months without even caring.

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In my experience, people who are on the fence, have rolling "windows of opportunity" to have R talk with them.
The "acceptible(to them)" frequency varies. for some people, it may be days. others, weeks. others, months.
When it comes up.. unless your spouse is on merely "days" between talks... you should make the most of it, in my opinion.
(until he indicates that he doesnt want to talk about it any more. then definately stop)


Well, I agree. Just got the impression this morning that I needed to let him cool off/absorb for a bit. I think I'll call him in a bit, see how he's doing. I know he's tired, too. May or may not tell him more, depending on that.

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It doesnt matter whether or not he knows what he himself "thinks marriage is".
It's more important, if he is willing to live with what YOU "think marriage is". Or at the very least, exclusive dating.


Hm. Never thought of it that way...

Yeah, it just dawned on me on how to explain it to him. (Didn't there used to be a smiley with devil horns? For an evil grin? Ah, well. I wanted to stick one in here...)

Anyway, his mom has had this bf for the last four years. Except, she still insists, that B is not her boyfriend. xh is always messing with her about it... Anyway, I think I may point out that he's doing exactly the same thing with JD. The "we're not together" crap. (When they clearly are.)

Also, I don't think I put it into so many words...but I want tell him I wasn't expecting a full-on marriage or lifetime commitment the last few months. Just that I didn't think it needed to be said that someone you're sleeping with shouldn't be saying ILY and all that gag-inducing crap to other people. Maybe I will also point out that, if he is embarrassed/ashamed/doesn't want me to know about it, that should flag it to him that there's something wrong with the behavior.

Ugh. Ugh ugh. I really think I would have completely walked away if we didn't have a kid.

Just feeling frustrated. ;\) I do think he's made huge progress the last year...if I can only push him some more the right direction... lol \:\)

Azhira

my confusion