Last thread locked. Even though i have nothing to report right now i thought i would start a new one.
My H's dad is not doing well at all in the nursing home and continues to want to come home. We are not able to have 24 hour care for him so that is unable to happen. I think he wants to come home to die and feel for him being there. I think this is a big stressor for H in his journey but, he doesn't talk about it.
H is trudging along. I think that he probobly still feels diconnected as he hasn't said anything to the contrary. When the timing and circumstance is right i will broach the suject.
I am trying to do my best at the Act As If and it seems to be working. Spending a lot of time at the gym since it gets dark earlier and i can't hunt when i get home from work.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Glad things seem to be going well for now. Are you feeling OK through all this??
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Feeling up and down. H's Mom is actually starting to take a toll on me. She is being very amnipulative to get what she wants with me and Youngest SIL. Sil and i talked on the phone last night and realized just what she was doing. We are on the run between the two of us constantly not realizing the other had already done running for her. She tells me that SIL won't do for her and tells SIL that i won't dofor her so between the two of us we are running for her everyday for the dumbest crap, and thats only the beginning. It's a long story but, we will figure it out now that we know what she's up to.
H doesn't say to much about it but i do know that he's not happy about it. I don't know how to bring the subject up with him on his feelings about his dad. I do want to let him know that if he needs to talk im'e there to listen. Guess the best way is to just say it actually. There is just so much going on there.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Not much to report H's dad is in the hospital with pneumonia and is in bad shape. Haven't been on the boards because iv'e been there.
Dad is stable enough so that H left this morning for his hunting trip to Illinois for 5 days, Even though he was scared to because something could happen.
He did tell me he loved me again last nite, the scond time in 2 months. Seems to be when he tells me is when he leaves to go somewhere overnite so I wonder how serious he is about it but, I guess thats my issue even though he, I feel is still diconnected but, we will discuss it in time. I feel I need to give him more time to process his feelings.
Otherwise things are trudging along.
Jak
Last edited by jak58; 11/14/0702:36 PM.
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
I am glad about the ILY. Do you ever tell him that first? I think I read we aren't supposed to as they see it as pushing. I slip and do say it first alot, and most of the time he mumbles it back. Sometimes when he is really happy and in a good mood he will say it first.
I enjoyed when my exdh was on his hunting trip. It was 10 days where I didn't have to think about this R.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Thank-you for the compliment, iv'e learned so much through DR and the people on these boards do read all you can.
I do not say ILY first, not since iv'e read DR.
I know what you mean im'e kind of looking forward to 5 days without H home so I can breath and let myself go a little without H looking at me. Although i still have H's dad to handle nursing home things and hospital transferes and such. H's sister that usually handles that stuff since she is POA is out of town with her son having a new baby (his first) so we made her go. Told her you just can't sit and wait for something that might not happen anytime soon so go be there.
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Jak, There's a section in the book, "Coping with Difficult People" by Robert Bramson on dealing with silent, unresponsive persons. You may want to check it out.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
