So much for piecing...

[Livin4ME]

So H left again last night. He moved back in just over a week ago. He said he decided to leave again 3 days ago.
We got into some discussions over the OW while he was here. I thought we handled them fairly well. I would ask the questions as long as he was cool with them, if he said stop. I would. We had one argument about it. But we calmed down and we laughed at the end. I thought we left it on good terms. He said that was the night he decided he was done.
I was reading the After the Affair book, got another book on how to help the relationship by Dr. Phil.
I gave him a second chance by letting him come back home to work on things. He can't do the same. It's over. It's done. He's filing. Last night when he came to get his stuff, he said some nasty things. Said he's already got an appt with a lawyer. I honestly don't think I want him anymore.
When he came back home, he came into it, not with the attitude of a second chance of working on us. But with the second chance to prove me wrong. We didn't fight about anything that we used to. It was always talks about HER. I realized it wasn't helping anything and I asked him if he was still interested in counseling. He said no, 2 days later, he dropped the bomb.
One of our old problems was me having a problem with him going out all the time. I would bitch, throw fits, cry, all that stuff. So the first time he went out after he moved back home, I did nothing of that stuff. When he got home, he woke me up and I asked if he had fun, then went back to sleep. He later said that I had the attitude of I don't give a f. So I asked him how he would like me to respond when he does go out, nag and bitch or do what I did, let him go, do my own thing and ask how his night was. He said he didn't know. I told him that if he wanted me to fix certain things, he would have to tell me there was something wrong and how he would like me to handle them.
I asked him a couple times throughout the week of him being home if he was happy how things were going or if there were things he wanted to work on. Nope, he was happy. Nothing needed to change.
Last night he said we would always fight. Nothing was going to change. The only thing was 'how I reacted' and he said it mockingly.
I honestly think he went back to her. I asked him last night and he looked me straight in the eye and said no. That used to be one of his tells when he was lying. He made it a point to look me straight in the eye. I know they were still in contact while he was here. I snooped once and found a text. I posted about it on the extramartial affairs thread. The next time I felt like snooping, I told him about it and that was that. I didn't do it. Last night, he told me, thanks, haha.
I back slided and tried begging him for a 2nd chance last night. I told him, I gave him one, he should do the same. All he could say was, 'Thanks. but no.'
So after he left. I cried and did my thing. Then I woke up this morning and said, I know what I have to do. I will be ok. Made some phone calls for drs appts. I will be losing my health insurance when it's final. Also, I have an appt for a seminar that's held by a law firm that only handles women to get info.
I did tell him that I personally do not believe in divorce, so I will not be filing. He said, it's ok. He already was going to do it. He just wanted to meet with the lawyer first.

Me 28
H 28
S 2.5yr
D 5.5 months
1st bomb 8/07
Moved back home 10/07
2nd bomb 11/07