For my son, at this moment, I am trying to salvage this
I hear ya. At this point, I am here for the kids. I want to be able to say I did everything *I* could to keep the family together. I don't want to make any rash decisions that could effect them in a bad way.
I, too, look at H and think "What did I love about him?". But you are right, the things that have happened has changed all of us, and maybe, just maybe, things can get better.
