She did quit her job (and played quite the victim doing so), but OM eventually left there and she recently went back as the pay and hours were better for us. I was having to pick up our sons from school 3x a week, and that wasn't good for my career, and was only a stop-gap thing because we really needed the money.
There were three "dealbreakers" that I laid out for her when she begged me back. Write a "no-contact" letter to OM, agree to total transparency (esp. cell phone # change, with new phone's detailed billing coming to me), and get tested for STDs.
She did none of them.
We have also hit a very rough financial patch, with a possible foreclosure looming, and at the first appearance of these dark storm clouds -- as ominous as I understand they are -- she stopped wearing her wedding ring and pulled away from me.
WAY too soon for that.
Also, in the 10 weeks since we've attempted reconciliation, she has not initiated ONE kiss, ONE hug, or ONE backrub, armscratch, NUTHIN.' Even though we had long, heartfelt convos about how important this was to me. So even with a pending divorce action (coupled with a custody fight) hanging over her head, she could not even begin to give me what's been lacking for nearly 20 years, and she cut-and-run, commitment-wise, at the first storm.
She told me the night that she came to me and begged me back, "If it takes a lifetime, I will make it up to you." She couldn't even give it a MONTH.
Choc.
Still Way Too Soon 11/2007
You asked me if I’d just give you the chance To make it up to me You said that you’d made the mistake of your life The fog had lifted and now it was clear to see
That I was the one, the one for you That I was your love, your life, your home You said that if it took the rest of your life You’d make it up to me, alone
Well it’s way too soon for you to pull back now Way too soon to give it less than your best, baby Way too soon Way too soon You hurt me way too much to fight me now, and Hurt me way too much to say that you just don’t know
The rest of your life? Hell, you couldn’t give it a month You couldn’t give it one storm
If things had gone, nearly perfect maybe And everything had blown your way Maybe that’s what you were hoping for baby And only then, again you’d say
That I was the one, the one for you That I was your love, your life, your home That even if it took the rest of your life That you’d make it up to me, alone
Well it’s way too soon for you to pull back now Way too soon to give it less than your best, baby Way too soon Way too soon You hurt me way too much to fight me now, and Hurt me way too much to say that you just don’t know
The rest of your life? Hell, you couldn’t give it a month Couldn’t give it one storm This was way too soon, And now I’m gone.