I'm going through the same issues, hearing the same cold words, wondering just who the hell this person is thats' saying this stuff to me. Our (alien) wives must have landed from the same space ship. After awhile, I don't take what she says personal, her negative feelings towards our marriage is driving the bad stuff out of her mouth. Believe it or not, there is a warm caring person underneath the facade, our job is somehow to bring that person out of them. They loved us once, they can do it again. All i can say is keep the anger under control, kill them with kindness and mix in some tough love (push them away a little, let them know you won't be talked to like that, ask them how they would like to be treated if the roles were reversed, blah blah blah). It takes patience, I'm on month number 4 and my wife doesn't want to come home, wants me to let her go, wants a D the whole nine yards. I'm so used to it now, it's almost second nature. Personally, I don't back down to the divorce threat, I calmly tell her that i won't give her one, period. It more or less has forced her to rethink things. Give 'em their space is my motto. But i certainly can't blame you if you've flat had enough. Sometimes, they need to know that before they turn towards us again.
