Sorry, I thought I answered this a while back. When she moved back home at the beginning of September I begged her to stay. She said she didn't want to regret it if she didn't divorce me. I told her I would break it off. The OW's ex decided he didn't like me anymore and called my W and told her I had seen her. That was it.
I screwed up. It is over now with the OW and has been since that day. Why did I do it that day and not before? Any answer I give is an excuse. I tried to do it my way and not the right way. Call it scar tissue from the previous six years of being sad and lonely. During the time after W went home I wrote her every day about my love for her, sent her flowers, called her everywhere I went from phones there. I did not hear from the OW for several weeks and we met in Chicago while I was there on business. Then I honored a commitment I made over the summer and saw her the following weekend. That is what the angry ex called and told her, unbeknown to me. What I did not do was honor my vows.
I am several chapters into the Divorce Remedy. I know my actions are perceived as sidestepping the issue because I did not break it off right away. Why did I succumb???? Because everyday I wrote a love letter, called every day, did everything I could to show my wife my love. Never once did I get a "I appreciate your effort!" Should I have expected it to be easy, certainly not. But my issues before the affair were NO FEEDBACK ever. So I felt it was falling on deaf ears and I protected myself by feeling good. I did not consider the feelings of my family, my extended family, or her family. Now all I have is regret. Two hours before the angry ex called, my wife told me she was coming out for T-day and I had resolved myself to ending it that night. I ran the second lap before the first and boy do I know it now.
