HB, Thanks for your concern. What's interesting is that I know how much my W feels out of control.
My life is fairly balanced. I can't think of anything I want that I'm not getting. I have dance lessons, I write and read daily, I go dancing a couple of times per week.
The only thing I need to be careful about is her pushing me to make more money. We do need to get our finances in better shape for retirement. There will need to be an increase in household income. How should this occur?
The easiest solution is for my W to find a new job. She makes 25K in social services. She has an MBA and experience in the business and social services world. She can easily increase her salary. Yet she is fearful of venturing.
I have to decide if I should leave a job I enjoy to make more money or work PT in addition to my job, or hold-off. I would consider working a few hours on a Saturday, but haven't pursued anything. I check the ads weekly for now. There's no harm in exploring opportunities.
My W did say to me about a month ago that she did not want a pushover for a H. She said that M is about negotiation. Believe me, I hold those words in my back pocket.
I'm not about giving her anything she wants, but letting her have power over the little things that matter to her. 4K to build a jacuzzi in the basement will likely be met with resistance. Hardwood floor refinishing, new blinds, a paint job, glassblock windows, and a gas self-cleaning stove are a good investment in the home and my M.
You're right, I do deserve more, but she deserves a better H than I was in the past. You're seeing the improved version where I grade myself a B. She remembers the C- version I was for many years.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
