new here. Feel like dying

[ms ladybug]

I had the full eval from the psychiatrist. Yes, I was honest when I answered all his questions. His exact words were, "you don't have depression. You're not happy, specifically with your marriage, but you certainly don't have depression. Medications aren't going to help you. You need marriage counseling." He said there are 8 signs of depression and I don't have any. He said if he had to choose one, it would be that I'm tired a lot. BUT, with a full-time job, two kids, and a baby that doesn't sleep through the night, he could expect that I'd be a tired person. He did also suggest that I do something for myself (exercise, or yoga or something). I did that. I joined weight watchers and lost 20#.

I NEVER said, "there's nothing wrong with me". I KNOW I contributed to our marriage problems. I KNOW I disrepected my husband and discounted his opinions about (almost) everything. I put my kids before him (which I still struggle with this thought...because they're only kids...they need me to help them). I can only work on myself. H coming back and saying, "nothing's changed" was completely unfair. Of course, nothing's changed. It's too soon, but I'm trying.
Now, if I can get my temper in check and not REACT to every hurtful thing he sends my way...

Dom R, as much as I hate reading your replys, I appreciate and value your input.