As you said you are a work in progress. I dig that.
BFM,
All you have to do is see how many time a reference was made to H or W.
Obviously, I am giving the view from the other side. Sort of like the judge who said he couldn't define pornography but he would know it when he sees it. I also, know how it is difficult to do. And you have to be reminded to detach.
There is no question that detachment is a function of time and outcomes. It was for me just like for everyone else I have ever seen around here. Looking back, the focus on someone else, i.e. the former Mrs Imp and what was up with her, kept the focus off of me.
You will note from my posts that I don't give much thought to the MLCer or WAS. The best way to live your life is to keep it about you and not about the gyrations of another.
I don't know if I am answering your questions. But I also know that the more I concentrated on things not related to marriage or lack thereof, the better life became.
I guess what I am doing is trying to relate to you the goal.
