Quote: What do I want? I want to feel and be strong, to feel and be happy, to feel and be loved and loving. I own that too.
I'm not saying all my fears have evaporated. I'm just saying that it was a kick in the pants. H. can have "itchy butt" -- so can I -- there's no rules around how I "have to feel". Frankly, today I'm choosing to feel good about me.
something I realized myself last night too...that I own half of the tension in this house...last night after my insanity while laying in bed with h trying to sleep...I could feel the tension...I couldn't sleep...I ached for h to put an arm around me to ease my tension but he did not...I decided I could just calm down myself...let go of my tension...I did...it was liberating...as I felt my tension ease..h moved...felt like his tension lifted a bit as well but then I expected more and alas my tension returned...I didn't take ownership of it and had to sleep in another bed...choosing to not fight the tense feelings anymore.
what a struggle we have!! will it get easier...h and I both certainly hope so.
