arrgh. Note to self -- my calling H. from work does not go well and doesn't get me closer to my goal.

Having a crappy day at work. Had one yesterday too. Came "this close" to quitting yesterday (and that is NOT my style). Common sense + fact that H. isn't working + crappy job market made me NOT quit.

H. isn't feeling well. His back is still bothering him + his stomach too. I sent him a chatty email early this AM -- he called around noon, conversation went ok.

Anyway, was feeling like I wanted to chat with someone so I called him (don't usually do that). He sounded distracted (TV? Guess he hasn't read DB I always put down my book, turn away from the tv and/or stop looking at things on my computer when he calls). My asking questions of him doesn't go well usually -- today is no exception. Tried to talk a bit about what was going on with work but got very little comment/attention in return.

He's sick + distracted + I'm needy for conversation + have expectations on how it should go = crappy conversation.

Ah, well. 'tis done.

Key right now is to shake it off, go get my haircut + pick up chinese food and NOT let it bum me out anymore. Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake.

Would love to meet someone for a drink or dinner and actually talk about what's going on with me for a change...

whoops --

OK Real time Update

H. called as I was writing this. He called to apologize for being distracted when I had called. Said that he had bought me a present and had been in the middle of putting it together when I had called. OK, first reason that he said he had been distracted was that he was "an As*&OLE" but I quickly disabused him of that notion.

SO....note to self -- all is not lost if H. is distracted when you call him -- sometimes it means that he has bought you a gift (a combo dvd player and vcr) and is trying to put it together.

Sage

Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.